If that happens, I will issue a press release to The Onion announcing detection of hypeon particles propagating via the hype field, and the resulting strong attraction between moron particles.

‘It is now known that hype charged media are actually composed of groups of bound fractionally hype charged morons. It appears that morons are truly fundamental entities of the media. We can’t prove this yet, but a key insight is that when multiple morons in close proximity are accelerated through cyberspace there are chain reactions of hyperon release. As Albert Onemug said when he predicted this, “This warps cyberspace, but anyways warped cyberspace accelerates morons. Same difference.” Because of all this, we now have great hope that we will be able to meet the needs of the world’s population, and it will be too cheap to meter! All we have to do is agree where to store hyperwaste decaying byproducts. We propose Las Vegas.(*) One last thing: previous reports from some confused experimentalists about instantaneous non-local moronic information exchange via the electromagnetic field makes no sense at all. That would imply an asymmetry which would break the law of conservation of degeneracy, and everyone knows moronic degeneracy is constant. Please don’t encourage those crackpots.’

(*) Oh come on, you wouldn’t even know its there.