synthetic zero

February 15th, 2012

There’s been an ad for a new show (Awake) about a guy who goes to sleep to wake up in a parallel reality, and vice-versa, and he’s not sure which reality is actually real. I have a bit of that same feeling returning to my home in Oakland; all the familiar smells and sights and sounds of “my” neighborhood, my cats, my apartment… it feels like returning home, which it is. But at the same time, I have my place in New York, and when I come back there it also feels like I’m returning home. Which one is the “real” home? Going back and forth at least once or twice a month, it’s hard to know for certain. What I do know for certain is I feel drawn to both places, there are things I want to do in both places and people I want to see and be with in both places. In either place, friends and family lament the fact that I’m often gone from “home” — where do my real loyalties lie? For now, in both places. It will take time to settle out.

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